Everyone inside is wearing pants because of you.

You have no idea what this visit has cost us.

Doormat. 24 × 16 inch doormat made from tufted coir coconut fiber, with black vinyl backing. Intended mainly for outdoor use.

$28.74

$7.99 shipping per order · United States only

Shipping & returns +

Made to order. US shipping is $7.99 for your entire order. Items from different fulfillment partners may arrive separately.

A closer look at the artwork +

Gift potential +

For the person who sends you a seven-minute voice note about a spoon in the wrong drawer. You know exactly who this is for.

WHILE WE'RE COMPLAINING

Other things that need saying.

Doormat$28.74

Leave the package. Preserve the peace.

Doormat$28.74

Hospitality, with a sensible expiration date.

Doormat$28.74

A warm welcome with a firm end time.

Doormat$28.74

The rest of the house has declined to comment.