I need coffee before I can pretend to give a shit.
Empathy is currently brewing.

Congratulations on your promotion to head chef.
Oven mitt. One right-hand oven mitt, 10.6 × 6.7 inches. 100% polyester with quilted padding and a hanging loop. Printed on both sides. Supplier photos show the design on multiple mitts; your order includes one right-hand mitt. Made to order in Vietnam. Follow the sewn-in care and safety instructions.
$7.99 shipping per order · United States only
Leave your email for launch updates about this design. Your taste in grievances is excellent.
Made to order. US shipping is $7.99 for your entire order. Items from different fulfillment partners may arrive separately.

For the person who sends you a seven-minute voice note about a spoon in the wrong drawer. You know exactly who this is for.
Empathy is currently brewing.
There is no third setting. We checked.
Nothing motivates like an impending witness.
At this point, the plates are paying rent.