Keep your wet little problems off my table.
A small island for your condensation crisis.
Good things. Bad attitudes.
75 things to buy instead of starting a fight in the family group chat. Find the one that makes you say “for fuck's sake, that's me.”
The table did nothing to deserve this.
An innocent table. A preventable tragedy.
Put your glass here like somebody raised you.
Manners, now available in a convenient place to put your drink.
Your beverage is not better than my furniture.
Your drink has a seat. Kindly use it.
This is why we can't have nice shit.
One ring on the table. A lifetime of bringing it up.
Comfortable does not mean available.
Soft furnishings. Firm boundaries.
Please lower your volume to furniture.
The lamp has the right idea.
This couch is not accepting overnight guests.
Lovely to see you. Fascinating to watch you leave.
Not every silence needs to be filled.
A decorative contribution to everyone shutting up.
This room was nicer before people came in.
The room remembers. So do we.
Open it again. Maybe dinner has appeared.
The fridge has not updated since your last visit.
Somebody eat the aspirational vegetables.
Bought by the person we thought we were on Sunday.
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