The shower curtain is protecting both of us.
A tasteful curtain. A legally binding boundary.
Good things. Bad attitudes.
75 things to buy instead of starting a fight in the family group chat. Find the one that makes you say “for fuck's sake, that's me.”
The nice towels have never worked a day in their lives.
They are decorative members of the household.
Please judge the entire house based on this bathroom.
Everything you need to know is in this one room.
We cleaned because you were coming. Don't get used to it.
You are welcome. The baseboards are exhausted.
If you find a mess, you've gone too far.
Please return to the approved visitor area.
The rest of the house would like some privacy.
Behind that door: none of our business. Especially yours.
Please state your purpose and estimated departure.
A warm welcome with a firm end time.
Everyone inside is wearing pants because of you.
You have no idea what this visit has cost us.
If you didn't text, you're a delivery.
Leave the package. Preserve the peace.
Knock like you brought cheese.
Wine also qualifies. Hands-free arrivals will be reviewed.
We discussed your visit. It was contentious.
The household vote was not unanimous.
Your early arrival has been noted.
We were counting on those twelve minutes.
ONE MORE THING TO IGNORE IN YOUR INBOXGet on the list.
Get on the list.
We rarely invite people.
The collection is coming. Leave your email for launch news, new goods, and occasional evidence that we're unsupervised.
You're our kind of problem.
Launch updates. Unsubscribe whenever you've had enough of us.